Please Stop With The Dancing, Microsoft

Look, I get it, Microsoft. You want to show people who you know how to have fun, that even Microsoft can smile once in a while. But seriously, stop with the dancing routines. Your target audience doesn’t dance. We, at best, sway with the music, but never dance.

As GeekWire points out, the latest nightmare happened earlier this week at the Norwegian Developers Conference where several dancers took the stage and performed to a song with such classy lines as “The words MICRO and SOFT don’t apply to my PENIS! (or vagina)” and “We are here to party and coding is our drug!” Laughter can be heard throughout the video as the attendees stand nearly motionless, likely in shock as if they were witnessing a train wreck in slow motion.

This comes the week after Usher took the stage during Microsoft’s E3 keynote for a nearly equally embarrassing show.

I was sitting in the audience for Usher’s 20120 E3 performance and can attest that most of the gaming industry found the show a bit misplaced; no one got out of their seat as Usher instructed several times. John Biggs said it best, though.

“I really loved seeing Usher on stage at Microsoft's #e3 event!” – Nobody

—
John Biggs (@johnbiggs) June 04, 2012

And of course there is this classic 2009 video of a Microsoft Store breaking out in an not-so-impromptu flash mob-ish dance. At the time I stated the store was trying too hard, but now, three years later, as Microsoft Stores have failed to be capture shoppers like the Apple Stores Redmond is clearly coping, I think they should be applauded for at least trying something.

Please, Microsoft, I beg you. A sweaty Steve Ballmer yelling and jumping around is better for your brand than employing a dance troupe to rally your remaining fans.