This week we wrap up our Freelancer’s guide to coffee with a look at the percolator and some final words about this wonderful beverage.
Our journey is nearly complete. Soon I will release you, my coffee minions, into a world of coffee snobbery. I know you will make me proud.
*single tear*
What is a percolator? Sounds dirty
First the french press and now the percolator? Sounds pretty risqué.
Fear not. Although a percolator in action can get pretty hot, we’re not talking about something that will get you a slap from your grandmother.
The percolator was actually invented by an American named Count Rumford during his time with the Bavarian Army.
I wish I was named Count Rumford.
The percolator refers to the method of brewing where boiling water percolates or leaches slowly through the coffee grounds. I know what you’re thinking; anything that has to do with coffee and leeches has to be good.
You can always identify a percolator by its funny top. The percolator looks like something out of a steampunk anime, typically with a clear bubble on its lid. As the water heats it is drawn up a metal shaft where it bubbles over and spreads down through the coffee grinds. It then drips back into the bottom chamber where it gets drawn up again through the shaft.
The circle of life is complete.
A word of warning
Because the percolator will recycle your coffee through the grounds over and over, you do not want to leave it on too long. This will prevent your coffee from tasting like shoe polish.
Another word of warning is that the coffee will be very hot immediately after brewing.
And I’m not talking “Ooo that’s hot.” I’m talking “Ooo I’ve just made out with the surface of the sun!” kind of hot. So please let it cool down for about 10 minutes before you pour your first cup.
Why I like the percolator
Although the percolator takes a lot longer to brew than the french press, I like it because it’s easy to keep hot.
French press coffee will lose its heat before too long, forcing you to heat it up or knit yourself a french press cozy. I don’t know about you, but I pray that no one finds out I have a coffee pot wrapped in an attractive scarf. Please don’t tell anyone, ok?
The percolator, however, can stay right on your stove element. That means you can turn down your heat to its lowest setting and keep your coffee warm for hours!
I’ve also never had the problem with that “burnt” taste you get from a drip coffee pot that has been left on the heating element too long.
A word about instant coffee
The only thing that instant coffee delivers instantly is my wrath.
Friends don’t let friends make instant coffee.
I have a good friend I used to work with who was a complete coffee virgin. He was type of guy that would get a buzz from cappuccino flavored ice cream. Therefore, I made it my goal to get him hooked on coffee.
My usual morning strategy was to show up at work and immediately make a pot of coffee. After the first cup I would show him how my eyes would begin to sparkle. After the tenth cup I would wow him with incredible feats of strength.
I could tell I was winning him over.
Imagine my delight one morning when he told me that he had a sudden craving for coffee while he was staying at a friend’s place. However, he could only find instant coffee in the cupboards. So he decided to put into practice the lessons I had been teaching him and try and make drip coffee by substituting the freshly ground beans with instant coffee.
Not a good idea.
The black goo that came out tasted decidedly similar to toxic sludge and/or vegemite.
He learned a valuable lesson that morning – if you value life, stay away from instant coffee.
Further Instruction
I know we’ve gone over a lot of stuff in our 3 part guide and you may forget some of it. So I’ve made up a card for you to print out and keep in your wallet:
You’re welcome.
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